Practice Makes Presence
I started to meditate after reading Tara Brach's book Radial Acceptance. I later was introduced by a therapist to Jon Kabat Zinn and now I am off with different styles to try daily. Meditating has become a true refuge for me but it hasn't been easy. Below are the stages I described to a friend who is starting her own mediation practice. These stage cover the first 18 months of my practice.
1. Wow this 10 minute guided meditation lasts forever
2. Yes! I made it to the end, but I lose focus so I must be doing it wrong
3. What if the kids see me do this and think I'm weird?
4. Alright, the breathing really settles me quickly and now I know to not worry about focus just come back to breath
5. Hey this guy made me mad at work and I started to breath like when I meditate and the anger passed
6. Ugh! I have the same negative feelings each time
7. Oh I see, don't judge what's there just give it space
8. The long body scan didn't make my fear go away!!!
9. Wisdom is knowing what feelings are present without being lost in them.
10. You can walk and meditate?! Cool!
11. I can imagine the good feelings from meditating at the beach and it's now my calm place I turn too when I'm afraid.
12. Mediating with others is different and powerful even though its in silence
13. People want to know what's up and want to try meditating!
14. Yesterday's was so much better than today's, ugh!
16. And so on...